I’m not going to tell you how to live your life or anything, but if you’re into nudity and sadness, Nights and Weekends is now available to watch instantly on Netflix.

AirTunes is the pinnacle of human genius.

Imagine technology that allows you to stream music wirelessly from your computer to a stereo.  Sound far-fetched?

IT ALREADY EXISTS.

Here’s a scenario:

Your roommate is sitting on the sofa, quietly enjoying some Internet literature.  You are in the next room.  The next FLOOR, even.  Suddenly, your roommate hears what sounds like a train whistle in the distance.  Then, slowly and deliberately, a beat comes pulsing forth from the stereo, louder and louder until your roommate, who thought he was sitting in solitude until now, is engulfed in the unmistakable sound of “Come Ride the Train” by The Quad City DJs.

This is what Thomas Edison wanted for us.

Is it just me, or has Roger Ebert been dishing it out lately?

On Twilight: New Moon:

Sitting through this experience is like driving a tractor in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem.

On Couples Retreat:

“Couples Retreat” tells the story of four troubled couples and how they’re healed by sitcom formulas.

And from a blog post:

Those who think “Transformers” is a great or even a good film are, may I tactfully suggest, not sufficiently evolved. Film by film, I hope they climb a personal ladder into the realm of better films, until their standards improve.